= Jolin's Blog .

Saturday, April 28, 2012

~ One after another ~

the very last time...

suddenly, my fingers are so stiff.
i don't know what to continue.
maybe it's the cold,
maybe it's just 'trying to accept' something no one wants to.

nobody wished for this to happen,
nobody wanted any of this to happen.
but shit happens.
no matter how many fallen eyelashes you blow,
no matter how many wishes you make,
no matter how much you pray,
it probably still wld be the same...

one round, two round, three.
one bow, two bows, three.
one push, two pushes, three.
watching through a really blurry screen,
(i don't know if it's a good thing that everything's not in HD...)
it felt as though i was there for awhile.
being transported to somewhere i shd have been.
i thought if you don't mention it to anyone,
or feel it's real, it'd be 'reality'.
cos' that wld be the reality you've construct for yourself.
but i was wrong.
when you actually see what's going on,
everything becomes so clear to you.
no matter how many voices inside you tells you that's a dream,
you can't deny that's reality.
cos' i see reality, that's what that hurts.

through this journey,
i questioned so much.
from the minute of hoping to be found to now,
who, what you really need is so crucial.
where were the ones who promised to look for you when you go missing?
there's so much so much so much to lose and gain, esp lose.

P.S. being just a part of my smiles is not the best way to know me.

Jo

9:26 PM